CAT MAT PREMIUM: KATER

Medieval Chronicle: "The Annals of House Feline, Year 2025 AD"

[Illuminated manuscript style]

In the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Twenty-Five, in the great city of Zagreb, there didst transpire an event most remarkable, which I, Brother Marko the Scribe, shall herein record for posterity.

OF THE ARRIVAL OF LORD KATER

Lord KATER, that most Noble and Terrible of Cats, did arrive unto the household in the Spring season. He was of great stature and fierce countenance, with eyes that did penetrate the very soul of mortal man.

Upon his entrance, he did survey the domain and spake thusly:

"This realm lacketh Order. This shall change."

And lo, it did change.

OF THE SIN OF POLYESTER

In those days, the Master of the House, being ignorant and foolish, did procure a mat of POLYESTER that most vile and cursed of materials, wrought in the fires of distant Cathay for but Thirty-Nine Coins.

Lord Kater did approach this abomination. He did sniff it once. He did sniff it twice.

And then he spake in a voice most dread:

"Dost thou mock me? Dost thou believe I shall recline upon this... synthetic wickedness?"

The Master, trembling, did protest: "But Sire, 'twas on Sale"

"SALE?" thundered Lord Kater. "Thou wouldst barter mine dignity for SALE?"

OF THE EXILE OF POLYESTER

That very night, under cover of darkness, Lord Kater did drag the cursed Polyester unto the courtyard. There it remaineth, in rain and wind, until it was consumed by the Elements.

The Master did not protest. For he knew: to defy Lord Kater was to court Destruction.

OF THE GIFT OF WOOL

Chastened and wise, the Master did journey unto the Market and procure a mat of TRUE WOOL 100% pure, blessed by Sheep, consecrated by Nature herself.